Take your life in your own hands and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
Erica Jong (American novelist, b 1942)
My mother died when I was 13 years old. The emptiness and heartache has never left me. This is the price of love.
I adored her, being with her made me truly happy. I was left with a father who drank, was abusive and did not care about me. I have only seen him four times in 29 years.
Twenty-six years ago, I married a wonderful man and we have three sons. I longed to have my mother’s love and guidance, to share my children’s lives. She’d have been a truly amazing granny.
Sadly, I knew I could never trust my father with my children, so my sons have only seen him three times in their lives — though he felt he had a right to see them.
I have never stopped the boys (all now over 18) from seeing him: they simply don’t want to. He is a stranger, he just happens to be the man who made me. I hoped that when I married I would have a strong relationship with my (divorced) mother and father-in-law.
This I yearned for, but that bond did not happen. My in-laws made it very clear I was not good enough for their son.
So when I was pregnant there was no sign of happiness from them. I was given no help and they never made any effort to see their grandchildren.
I have tried to make the relationships work, but no matter what I did, it simply was not good enough.
Please help me understand why unforgivably bad parents think they have a right to access young human lives not created by them? And why some parents, given the opportunity to have a loving relationship with their daughter-in-law and grandchildren, refuse it?
Source : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5185289/BELL-MOONEY-dad-laws-better.html